Jokes & Pics
Free funny Jokes and funniest Pics for
Sky Sports Reporter gets Head Shot - Gif Animation
Submitted by: Jackie Gleason
Race Fail - Gif Clip
Submitted by: Richard Belzer
Trapping the Cat - Funny Gif
Submitted by: David Steinberg
Short Question Answer
Q: Why is the book ""Women Who Love Too Much"" a disappointing read for many men?
A: No phone numbers.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: About 45 minutes.
Q: What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino?
A: Helephino! ("hell if I know!")
Q: What do you call a dog with only 2 legs?
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: About 45 lbs.
Submitted by: Will Durst
Clever Soccer Player - Gif Animation
Submitted by: Cheech and Chong
Can You do that? - Gif Clip
Submitted by: Pat Paulson
The Perfect Shot Ever - Gif Animation
Submitted by: Lily Tomlin
A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."
Man at book store: I want a book on topic "Best Ideas on Full Control on Women".
Salesman: Please move into our next row of "Fiction Section".
A man calls up White House and asks: How can I be the next President?
Officer: Are you an idiot?
Man: Why? Is it compulsory?
A Blonde was removing two wheels from her car.
Her friend asked: "What are you doing?".
Blonde: "Can't you see the board, 'Parking for two wheelers only'".
"For this job we require someone who is responsible," says the employer.
"Then, I'm the man" the potential employee respond, "On my last job, every time anything went wrong, all said I was responsible."
Doctor: "Itís no use. I canít find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking too much."
Patient: "Ah!, Ok doc, Iíll come back when youíre sober then"
Patient: "Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
Nurse: "Have you seen a doctor?"
Patient: "No, just spots."
Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Bill: One dollar.
Teacher: You donít know your arithmetic.
Bill: You donít know my father.
The psychology instructor has just finished a lecture on mental health and is giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asks, "How would you
diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raises his hand and answers, "A basketball coach?"
Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?"
Nurse: "No change yet."
Submitted by: Sandra Bernhard
Dumb officer - Animated Gif
Submitted by: Martin Mull
Leave me Alone - Gif Video Clip
Submitted by: Ellen DeGeneres
Mad Elliptical Machine - Gif Clip
Submitted by: Groucho Marx
Short Story Jokes
A man goes into the plumbing supply store and says "I bought a bathtub here last week, but it keeps leaking."
The clerk asks, "Did you put a plug in it?"
The man is surprised, "Plug in it? You didnít tell me it was an electric tub!"
Grandpa is driving with his 8 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident, Kiddo"
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say "ass****" afterwards.
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"
The applicant answered it anyway:
"Never got caught."
Men fall in love for what they see.
Women fall in love for what they hear.
That is why Women use makeup, and Men lie.
The blonde screams into the phone, "Hurry, come quick, my house is on fire!"
The fire chief says, "OK, but how do we get to your house?"
The blonde says, "Duh, use the Red Truck."
Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"
"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.
To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Submitted by: Rick Aviles
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