Jokes & Pics
Free funny Jokes and funniest Pics for
Gifts by Santa
On Christmas morning a witty cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and
just next to him was a kid on his new mountain bike.
The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike kiddo!. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The happy kid said, "Yes! officer."
The cop said, "Well boy!, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on
it." and issued the kid a $25.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid took the ticket and before he rode off said, "By the way officer, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The cop winked the kid and said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid continued, "Well, next year request Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Submitted by: George Carlin
Change with the Time
Submitted by: Eddie Murphy
On opening her new store, a woman received a bouquet of flowers. She became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed "Deepest Sympathy".
While puzzling over the unusual message, her phone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong
"Ah!, it's alright." said the woman. "I'm a businesswoman and I understand how
these things can happen sometimes."
"But," added the florist, "I mistakenly sent your card to a funeral party."
"Well, what did it say?" ask the businesswoman.
"'Congratulations on your new location'." was the reply.
Submitted by: Richard Lewis
Submitted by: Robin Williams
Hold it neighbor
A successful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the speedy life in the big city and
finally decides to chuck it all.
He purchases a widespread ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana.
After a couple of weeks of pleasuring the solitude, he noticed the drumming of hoof beats
outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle in anger, he challenges the man riding up on the horse.
"Hold it neighbor" the man on the horse says," I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch
5 miles from here, and I came here to invite you to a Welcome Party for you next
Saturday night. There's going to be a lot of fun music, dancing, hugging, drinking,
fighting...We'll definitely have a great time".
Not wanting to be un-neighborly this new rancher lowers the rifle and asks "Well,
How should I dress?"
"Ah, don't matter" replied the neighbor, "Only gonna be the two of us".
Submitted by: Rodney Dangerfield
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