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In a Bar

A guy stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks "May I buy you a drink". 

"Why! of course," comes the response 

The 1st guy then asks, "Where ya' from?". "a'm from Ireland," replies the 2nd guy.

The 1st guy responds, "I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of course," replies the 2nd guy, and they both pour back their drinks. Curious, the 1st guy asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?" 

"Dublin," comes the reply. 

"Oh My!, I can't believe it", says the 1st man. 

"I'm from Dublin too Let's have another drink to Dublin!" the men both continue drinking.

Curiosity strikes again and the 1st guy asks, "What school?"

"St. John's," replied the 2nd guy. "I graduated in '64." 

"That's unbelievable," the 1st guy says. "I went to St. John's and I graduated in '64, too!"

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

"What's been going on?" curiously, he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much" the bartender responded. "the O'Mally twins are drunk again."

Submitted by: Mandy

 


 

Pass with Care

Submitted by: Jane

 


 

Insults - use with caution

Shouldn't a person with your IQ level have a low voice too? 

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

I wonder whether you'd still be stupid if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

Don't be sad. There is a lot of people who have no talent.

Don't let your mind wander it's too small to be left out alone. 

Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

You should need a license to be that ugly.

Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down. 

You are proof that one can live without a brain.

I don't have problem that you are talking so long as you don't have problem that I'm not listening. 

I am not saying that you are a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

I know you're not as idiot as you look. Nobody could be.

I used to feel that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself. 

I'll never forget the first time we met but I'll keep trying.

It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter. 

Thank You! as I've seen things like you, but I had to pay the ticket

Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

Perhaps your only purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. 

If we all spring from apes, you didn't spring far enough. 

Are you the poster child for birth control?

Submitted by: Piskeva

 


 

Answering a Difficult Question

Submitted by: Gem




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