Jokes & Pics
Free funny Jokes and funniest Pics for
Peaceful driving and less Car Accidents!
Submitted by: Carl Reiner
The angry wife meets her husband at the door. There is lipstick on his cheek and
alcohol on his breath.
"I assume," she snarls, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is." he replies, "Breakfast."
Bob says to his buddy Bill, "My Dr. says if I don't give up sex, I'll be dead in a week."
"What!...Why is that?" Bill asks.
Bob replies, "I've been screwing his wife."
Submitted by: Jerry Lewis
Bored? Why not send msg to a random number...
Submitted by: Adam Sandler
Things You Don Not Want to Hear During Surgery
The right vein's connected to the...left aorta...the left brain's connected to
A screwdriver?... This can't be right.
Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.
After everything we did, I can't believe this guy is still alive.
Ah well, you win some, you lose some...
Alright everyone, let's dig in.
An instruction manual would have been nice.
Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
At least he doesn't have brain damage... Wait... Now he does.
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Check it out! Isn't this 100 times cooler than using juggling balls?
Could you stop that thing from beating
Death is probable... Now it's certain.
Doesn't this remind you of that scene from Family Guy?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.
Has anyone here used one of these before?
Hey! Give that back! There's no law against drinking in the operating room...
I don't understand!?!? This didn't happen in the video.
I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
I see dead people.
I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
I'm gonna need one of you guys to start whispering in her ear. Tell her to "Move away from the light".
I'm starting to think that this whole thing is just a waste of time
If you can't feel your legs, it's because you don't have any.
Isn't this the guy that slept with your wife?
It's alright... Go ahead... He's asleep.
Look on the bright side, at least his wife won't have to worry about getting pregnant...
Now which side did we say? Left or right?
That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!
This is the part where I always get stuck.
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
What do mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
You weren't supposed to wake up... We're not done yet.
Submitted by: Larry Miller
Guess the words as quick as possible
Submitted by: Paula Poundstone
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