Wacky Jokes & Pics
Free funny Jokes and funniest Pics for Everyone.


In the event of a water landing

An stewardess was giving the regular safety briefing to the airline passengers.

When she had just finished saying, "In the event of emergency water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device.", A passenger remarked:
"Hey! If the plane can't fly, why should I believe the seat can float?"

Submitted by: Richard Pryor

 


 

Generous Donator

Submitted by: Woody Allen

 


 

Defining Marriage

What is a difference between before and after marriage?
Before marriage, a man yearns for the lady he loves. After, the 'Y' becomes silent.

How do most people define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

Son: "Dad, how much does it cost to get married?" 
Father: "Son! It's hard to tell, I'm still paying for it."

Submitted by: Mort Sahl

 


 

Be careful! Children learn fast

Submitted by: Lenny Bruce

 


 

12 Step Recovery Program For Web Addicts

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the World Wide Web.

2) I will eat breakfast with both hands and not with one hand typing.

3) I will get dressed before noon.

4) I will make an attempt to clean the house properly, wash clothes and plan dinner.

5) I will get some time to write a letter to those unfortunate friends that are Web-deprived.

6) I will call someone on the real phone who I cannot contact via the Web.

7) I will read a book.

8) I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them, "I'm busy."

9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for my new emails.

10) I will try and get out of the house whether it is necessary or not.

11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was so busy on the Web.

12) Lastly, I will remember that I should go to bed sometime as the Web will always be there for me tomorrow

Submitted by: Buddy Hackett




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